I can feel every beat my heart makes. It is steady and deep yet restless. Every now and then, it races unexpectedly and this ever growing worrisome escalates profoundly. I can feel my heart drop.
My life at this moment is surrounded by fear. I face fear at every corner I turn. It leaves me confused, miserable and with diminishing confidence.
If I stay, I know that I would be caged physically and emotionally. Most of all, I have to endure pain, I would need total self control; exactly the situation I am in. The question is how long can I survive this.
If I run, to start a new life, there will be immense possibilities. However, what if I prefer my 'old' life? I am worried that I am not ready to leave a big part of me behind and start a relatively new one.
All I want is to be free again but I realized it takes more courage than what I have now to pursue that freedom.
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