I found it convincingly true that I have to embrace this however painful it may be and however much I want you for myself, to accept it and make peace with it within my soul. Everywhere I have looked for answers and the slightest of hope. It all seems to point at the fact that there is nothing more I could do except to let go. To let go and have no expectation, not even to hope. If the worst were to happen, least I am a little prepared.
Please understand that this is not because I do not trust or have no faith in you. It just seems like you are carrying a greater deal of burden the longer I stay as part of your life. However difficult as your family may be, in the end there are still family. I think I have a good picture of how this is going to conclude.
Time will heal. I am still playing scenes from the past to spot where did I go wrong. I am still mending the pieces together, piecing myself together. I must say the stitches aren't strong as yet but I am trying my very best. I am doing this for you. I want your life to be grand and spectacular, even if it doesn't include me.
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