a phase of surreality

Facebook does wonders in little ways where events jump in front of you and give you satisfying surprises. A very old friend of mine, and I recently found each other on Facebook and I made a rather interesting discovery that she reads my blog and in some ways have given her perspective. I read that particular old post again and I am shocked myself it was me who came up with that piece. All in all, I am really really happy I was there for my dear old friend indirectly, but, better than none at all.

That was a heart-felt opening speech and I mean it, deeply. So here goes about the current emotional state I am being caught in...

We cannot deny that within the thin undefined lines of the realm of fantasy is somewhat safe, at least I can't. Hopes, dreams and promises deliberately layed right in front of you. Fooling yourself into believing that it will one day come true. Daydreaming about the person that touched your life in special ways through heavy dosage of conversations. I sometimes close my eyes and carve the energy of this particular someone and kind of put us in a situation where we are touching one another physically and well connected emotionally. It is comforting. Safe, as if someone is actually there with you and for you. (I say these two last sentences in a whisper tone as I truly deeply do feel... it is safe)

How I wished that was true. Reality does hit you and bounce you out of that thin bubble of which is filled with dreams, hope and promises that will never come true. Then you realise everything which has happened is merely a desirable idea. An idea which I very much like to achieve and I was too caught up with it. Taking too long a stroll along that path of unkept promises, non-existent hopes, dreams nor life.

I have to say it was one of those most comforting, secured, contented and happy time of my life. I learned although everything was surreal. The fact I knew it was surreal but yet let myself drown in those feelings and now I am hurt. I have yet to take back the path of reality and move on from where I let my life take a diversion but with extreme hesitation. I know how safe I felt and I cannot let myself forget it.

For now, I am standing at the junction between reality and fantasy.