Since the summer break is almost coming to a closure, I can only do it justice by giving it a little recognition. Two very impactive events changed the course of my life. Both require the expense of time to heal. So what happened in these 4 months break? A tornado of emotions.
At the start of it all, I experienced being at the crossroad. I chose the path less walked by and I was eager to score. With my hopes and dreams built up, as time passed, they lessened bit by bit. Here I faced a battle with myself. Confidence, belief, trust, isolation of negative thoughts, courage and fear. It was how I stood back up again when I was defeated. The constant mind battle with myself took a toll on me. I was losing the battle. Anger and disappointment swallowed me whole and I became blinded. A sub-conscious sense of insecurity about myself unleashed. A whole set of questions about myself arose and left unanswered. I became someone I did not know despite unconditional support from You. I was too caught up with anger and in denial that I was better than whoever I thought I was.
The following event concurred with the previous. I felt all those I had from previously with added spices of depression, remorse, loneliness. I am surviving it although I feel I have only managed to pull myself back up to the point of just above the water. No clue to what tomorrow is going to be and really have the littlest reason to wake up because it is only when I am sleeping that I don't feel anything. In very unfortunate nights however, my mind would switch on a nightmare replay and stirs me up only to leave me finding myself awake with overwhelming tears. In other circumstances, for just 7 hours, I know I am free from everything. The brief freedom is robbed as I refuse to open my eyes but laying consciously awake accompanied by tonnes of weight at my heart.
Who am I?
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